My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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