Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
