did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
