Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize