I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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