Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
