on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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