Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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