Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think I won the penis lottery.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
be right there i have to get my cape
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
