And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
