Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
