its not stalking. its research.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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