i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
