i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
