Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
