Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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