god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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