I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
