He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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