yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
