i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
