Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
