Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
