i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
