Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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