We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
