yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i now understand why vodka
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
