we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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