Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
