Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
