Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
