you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
