its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
jump out the window naked night went bad
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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