you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
