i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Randomize
