Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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