yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
