OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
