i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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