i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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