Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Randomize
