I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
