i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
