guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
