the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
