it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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