I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
