Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
