stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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