spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize