I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is the high leading the old right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
