but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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