No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
