you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i now understand why vodka
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
