last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
