had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
