Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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