Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
