Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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