He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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