He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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