New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
