You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
