let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
