Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
