You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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