Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
false alarm. still invincible.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
