Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize