i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
