It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
