We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
